Comparisons happen everywhere we look. They happen in family gatherings, at events, and even inside our own minds. Why is it that we are so used to comparing ourselves to others? Growing up I was never the smartest one in the family as per standards of society. There were other people in my family that were WAY smarter than me, again, as per standards of society. I would always find myself feeling embarrassed to a certain extent at family gatherings because I was made to believe that I was never smart enough. Comparisons happen so much that sometimes even during those moments when you should feel proud of yourself, you don’t seem to be proud. This is the result of comparisons that have impacted your view of accomplishments. We tend to set higher standards for ourselves even in moments of achievement – we feel that we never reach that pinnacle of success due to the doubt that has been established in us from a while ago. So…how do you stop comparing yourself? Here are a few ways in which you can decrease that comparison dialogue in your own mind:
- STOP scrolling aimlessly through social media. Make sure to set a time limit on how much you want to use social media. Sometimes, you can find yourself aimlessly scrolling through it and not realize the subconscious comparisons your mind is doing in the background. At the end of the day you are comparing yourselves to celebrities and other influencers. In doing this, you are setting unrealistic expectations for yourself because you should not be comparing yourself to others to begin with.
- Gratitude. Gratefulness for everything in your life is one the most important practices to implement in your life. Sometimes we are so focused on the lives of others that we do not appreciate all the good in our lives.
- Compliment yourself more. You are your biggest fan! Remember to talk to yourself positively and to recognize the negative self talk when it is happening. We often times do not point out when we speak to ourselves negatively.
- Change your perspective. Looking at your weaknesses is very common – what if you were to focus on your strengths instead? Use your strengths to work on your weaknesses, instead of focusing on your weaknesses and taking away from your strengths.
- Compliment others. Often times we are so busy comparing ourselves to others that we don’t take the time to appreciate the accomplishments of others. We are so caught up in bettering ourselves that we fail to recognize the beauty in being happy for others.
Comparisons are very common – if other people aren’t comparing you to others, you in your mind are definitely comparing yourself to others. It is very common and so easy to do in this day and age. Please be kind to yourself and others and stop the comparisons.